literature

Ashes to The sea: Forgiveness

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Literature Text

Ch.1

       “Aoi,”the old woman called me,”You're dinner is getting cold. Come down already and eat!”
I yawn and lazily stretched before rising from the balcony on fours then patted lightly to the kitchen. She sets my bowl of rice and kibbles to the exact corner and I swayed my tail gratefully then ate.
“Good my little darling,”she smiled as she rubbed my head,”If you eat your bowl clean, you can have slices of apples for dessert!”
Yes! Apples!
I could only chatter back at her between bites as I started my bowl. She knew how much I loved them.
My old human companion has been so kind to me since I could remember. She took me in when I was a small runt and name me Aoi because of my eyes. She had no problem allowing me to stay even when I'm old enough to go on my own. In fact she always said she took pity me for the troubles that hid in my eyes. It’s true. Later on, sometimes I was disturbed in my sleep probably nightmares that I couldn't relate. She took me to New York where it gotten worst and I had more nightmares almost every day.

The old woman helped me as much as she can through medicine and water therapy. But she told me that if there's a task I must finished it was up to me to figure it out.

I guess she believes in signs or sixth sense or something because she knows these dreams give me the same scare and she would always mention it to me.

After munching away at the sweet crispy apples on my favorite spot of the balcony, I curled into a ball and fell asleep again, hanging my head slightly from the bars. Once again it started pitch black then a flash of a white light like a thunderbolt.

….

    I see two pair of scrawny tan legs clothed in a deep teal coiled in emerald sea of grass. Two little tan hands fumbling with a green piece of paper. They belong to a girl because I heard her voice saying, “<All Done!>”
Ofcourse, she was Japanese.
Then another voice echoed in,”<Wow! Can i have it? Can I?>”
It was a boy. Smaller , a bit squeakier and pipier with a warn orange robe.
He appeared in my view squatting and staring at the papered figurine with fascination.
Then two other skinny feet approached.
One wore a wrinkle red robe; the other, a faded purple.
“<Heh, lame!>,”one of them spoke teasingly.
Now I saw him with smug look at me and crossing his arms.
“<Hmpf! Alright watch this!>”
Her little fingers puts the origami frog on a rock. It pressed the frog's back with an index finger before it released and the paper figurine took off.
“<Woah!>,”the small boy cried. He picks it up and repeated what the girl did. He had an innocent giggle springing from his voice as he had fun.

The girl catched a glimpse of  the smuggling boy who was impress for only a second. The other lad standing next to him applauded for her.

“<What do you think too, Saisho-kun?>”
Now I see another boy. He’s looks older because of his height.

“< If it impresses,Jirou-chan, it impresses me too>,”he smiled before his onyx pools gazed back at me. He wore a royal blue robe and he was busy with a short blade he was trying to clean it on his lap.
Why does it still say "Untitled" on top? I don't know. I tried to edit it but I'm not sure how by an irritating smartphone. I really would like a brand new labtop...!!

This is fanfiction story of Bluu’s POV starts in the IDW version of the tmnt comic and she actually begins as a human girl then later reincarnated into a Tanuki.

If you read how the story goes, you'll get it.
If not, I'll gladly share you a link…youtu.be/RIOZggkl9SE

(You have to listen to the WHOLE THING to get it)

So don't get confused with the original concept of my Oc's fanmade arrival of the ninja turtles.

Basically, this chapter is a “What if”. But Plz comment me to continue this story.

I don't own either of the tmnt. NADA. Just to put that out there too.
© 2017 - 2024 BluuMaskedBandette10
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Donatellosgirl36's avatar
The overall idea is super cute! I understand the backstory, because I read the IDW turtles comics. But there are still a few things wrong grammatically. And this could be difficult for you on a cell phone. Try to start a new paragraph or put an extra line in there when a new person speaks. Also some of the verbs are missing or are in the wrong tense, and I think this is due to language differences. English is the HARDEST language on the planet to learn because it has so many other languages that helped to form it.

For example:

Your sentence: She took me in when I runt and name Aoi because of my eyes.

Correct sentence: She took me in when I was a runt and named me Aoi, because of my eyes.

I also added a coma, because one part is subject to the other part. A good way to remember this is put a coma where you pause in a sentence or take a breath.

But as I said, I really like the story. I'd be glad to be a beta-reader for you. Another words, I can edit for you. I hope this is helpful.